My Mother: The Epitome of Failure

I can’t stand my mother. I was never able to but now I’m practically ready to kill her. She’s just so conceited and greedy. Did I mention she’s a communist? Yeah, lots of foreign-born mothers are, but mine is genuinely communist. And I don’t mean communist in the way you regard Trizy or your Russian co-workers. I’m talking much worse.

I could write an entire book about how terrible my mother is, but I won’t. Deep down I really want her to someday escape from that bubble world of hers and realize just what a failure she is and how she has done nothing but ruin my life and push my family to the brink of destruction. Instead, I’m just going to touch on a few points that I particularly dislike about her. This is not a dramatization, this is all completely true. The following list is not for the faint-of-heart. Expect words with more than three syllables and lots of cursing. Some of you may void your bowels once you come to the horrible revelation that a person in real-life can actually be JUST this terrible. I’m sorry, I voided mine too.

Things to do before Sunday

With the world ending Sunday, I think it be proper to give a list of 10 things before the blackhole eats everything. And yes, the world still ends Sunday.
Although, if Kenito’s insight does turn out right, you should read the LHC Survival Guide instead.

Onto the list!

10. Take a nap

9. Play some games

8. Party a bit

7. Snack

6. Watch an old movie

5. Half-Life 2

4. Half-Life

3. Blog about the oncoming end of the world.

2. Sex

1. Listen

It was a tough decision between numbers 1 and 2, but you can always have both. Can’t you?

Binder Hate

I hate binders. I really do. Those stupid three ring binders take up so much space. And the mass to volume ratio is low. I hate them; they are absolutely fucking huge. For me to write in them I need to assume an uncomfortable writing stance.

Now this wouldn’t be so much of a problem if I wasn’t forced to use a binder. But, what do you know? I’m forced to use a binder.

Now really. If a student doesn’t want to use a binder is that really so bad? Yes, handouts will be easier to lose, but I am willing to take upon that responsibility in exchange for comfort with materials that I am comfortable using.

That’s why I have a Top 100 Reasons Why We Hate Three Ring Binders list in each of my binders.

Oh, binders are in league with Comic Sans too.