Comic Numbah 5: WWIII & Insanity

WWIII & Insanity is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.

 

So remember, Jamie (Gazok) caused WWIII and the nuclear apocalypse. Err… He will cause the nukular apocalypse.

If you show up on his front doorstep with pitchforks and torches you may just be able to stop him.

 

Hadron Collider: IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW! (Pt. 2)

Click here for Part 1.

More proof this is all tied in with Half-Life. This video has a 3D flyby of the pipe tunnels of CERN, and if you are a HL player (or even better, mapper) you will recognize things!

Good luck to all of you in the upcoming weeks, and remember to keep an eye on our blog for more “informative” posts.

LHC Survival Guide

With the recent discovery of the true purpose of the LHC, by friend and colleague, Kenito. I present this survival guide to surviving the Resonance Cascade undoubtedly to be created in the next six to eight weeks from now.

First off, I just want to say everyone should procreate like mad before the Combine set up the suppression fields. More people will mean a better chance to survive the mass extinction.

Now on to the list:

• Obtain a solid item, with which you can beat headcrabs and zombies with. Crowbars are recommended, but baseball bats will do.
• Obtain a knife. Get as large a knife as you can comfortably carry around. Knives will be useful to fashion makeshift rope traps and skin animals with.
• Obtain a comfortable breathable shirt. It should dry quickly and be long-sleeved.
• Obtain durable pants. I would suggest really thick jeans with no wash. A belt may be useful in unusual circumstances.
• Obtain a warm jacket. It should be light and comfortable.
• Dress in layers.
• Avoid the cities and towns.
• Head for the mountains. The more secluded your spot, the better.
• Stockpile food.
• Always grab the plastic container with the Red-Cross on it. You will last much longer with a stockpile.
• Learn how to create and string a bow from materials common in a forest. Learn how to make arrows for said bow too.
• Stockpile guns, lots and lots of guns. I would suggest a S&W .357 Revolver. Unfortunately you can only carry two moon-clips plus the cartridges in the cylinder at any one time.
• Get a Zero-Point-Energy-Manipulator. It never needs reloading and any sized item short of a car can be used as a weapon with it. However, it is worth mentioning that the probability of obtaining such a weapon is a point above zero.

However, these are not enough to fully increase your chances to survive the oncoming apocalypse.

Reading Max Brook’s The Zombie Survival Guide will help you survive an incoming headcrab-zombie attack. However, Keep in mind that some parts in The Zombie Survival Guide will not apply for headcrab-zombies.

The Steampunk’s Guide to the Apocalypse touches on many topics rather broadly for when technology will become scarce. Unfortunately, there can be much more detail.

The US Army Survival Manual probably contains everything you need to know past what the Zombie Survival Guide covers. It is rather dense, and you probably won’t finish it.

Read as many survival guides and manuals as you can. They will help you survive this slowly encroaching threat to humanity.

Hadron Collider: IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!

A certain free man was spotted near the Large Hadron Collider.  So has this guy.

The Hadron Collider won’t open up black holes, it’s going to cause a RESONANCE CASCADE!

Everybody should go buy a crowbar immediately before the stores run out. Spraypainting red onto it will give it a damage multiplier as well.

It all makes sense now. Black Mesa was made up by the government to distract us from the REAL conspiracy – in Cern! Half-Life supposedly takes place in 200#, meaning the timing may fit (though I like to claim the game takes place in 1998, same year it came out. After all, Black Mesa uses Win98 – artistic licensing, or is Black Mesa just poorly funded? Maybe, but then the PowerPoint in Portal proves they’d have money for better computers. Forget it for now.).

So everybody get ready. The events of Half-Life are going to play out over the course of the next few months. Enjoy your fertility while you can! Mwahahahahahaha…

The World Ends Sunday!

Well with everyone getting so caught up about how the world’s is going to end on Wednesday, I think it is time I blogged about it.

You are all fucking wrong.

It’s going to end Sunday.

On Wednesday the microblackhole will decide that it doesn’t want to eat anything (it’s a proven fact that blackholes tend to be bloated at the time of birth).

That micro-blackhole will then start trying to find pasta to eat.

During his search for pasta, he will taste a bit of the plate. Now typically, microblackholes enjoy the taste of ceramics, and from there he decides wants to sample every single flavour the universe has to offer.

Now the whole process takes more or less seventy-two hours from the moments of birth. From there the blackhole will take about a day to get to Earth consuming ability.

Now, I may be wrong about this. I highly doubt it, though. It is unlikely the blackhole will turn out to be a girl.