Fake Accents and Its Power

A funny thing happened to me during my lunch period.

I was playing cards with this person who seems to be stalking me, and kicking his ass. During that time there was this table of people behind me, straing at me. I was wondering why they were looking at me.

I didn’t have to wonder for long. One of those people walk up to me all of sudden, and he asks, “Are you Australian?”

Well, that shocked me. Because, I’ve been heavily Americanised; but I realised that the one accent that I could do really well wasn’t going to fool them for long if they thought I was Australian. So I just cursed him off.

In a British accent.

“I’m not fucking Australian; I’m British, you stupid fucking twat.”

I may have said that a bit loudly, because I attracted more faces but it was funny.

So that guy sits back down, and I have a minute of so of non disturbance where I’m laughing my ass off. Then, it happens again–maybe it was the same person; maybe it wasn’t–but this time he tells me, “Say ‘Crickey Mate!’”

So I say to him, “I told you you bloody idiot I’m fucking British–England–and if you call me Australian again I will shove my foot up your fucking ass.”

Well that was what I meant to say. I had said, “shove my ass up your bloody ass.” Luckily, they didn’t notice.

So I hear them discussing amongst themselves, and it became clear to them that I was (pretending) to be British; not Australian.

This time one of them asked “Say ‘bloody ‘ell’” in a stupidly shitty accent.

I didn’t let this one slip either. “I’m not saying bloody anything for you bloody idiot; now fuck-off before I shove my bloody foot up your bloody ass.” This time I said foot.

So they didn’t come up to bother me, and the people at my table were astonished at how they believed I was Australian. And then it set in to me that they may have been screwing with my head, so I was thinking “Were they screwing with my head or are they screwing with mine?”

I mean it’s a fine mixture of information that needs to be given to them to have them actually fall for it since even before the beginning.

So what do you think? Did I screw with their heads? Or did they screw with mine?

Why the IBM Model M is the best keyboard ever.

1. Patented Buckling Spring Key Switches
In other words: Each time I press any one of the keys on my keyboard, it feels like the sexy “gears & cogs” mechanical spring-loaded movement. And it feels springy.

2. It won’t jam.
Well it will, but not when you use jam; when you use glue—industrial strength glue.

3. Durability
Does your keyboard have a steel plate?

4. Security
Can you use your keyboard to beat up would-be burgalars?

5. It still works
Even a decade—and—a–half into its life

6. It’s old
It’s a proven fact that old things are cool. Id est, pocket watches, zeppelins, propeller planes, fountain pens, typewriters, revolvers, steam engines, steam trains, steam punk, telegraphs, & c.

7. It’s your best excuse for not using your typwriter.
It feels as almost as nice as typing with a typewriter. It sounds almost as nice and loud as the clickity-clack of the typewriter keys hitting the paper and rubber-coated steel drum.

Pepsi’s New Logo

http://www.thedieline.com/blog/2008/10/what-is-pepsi-t.html

This is sort of old news, but I think it’s still worth mentioning.

I have to say; I love it. Probably because I love coke.

I wouldn’t be suprised if there was a jump in Coca-Cola sales ever since the design went public.

Happy 2009!

It’s the new year and our resolution is to keep on adding posts sporadically. I don’t think you people much care as there aren’t acutally any of you out there who actually subscribes to this blog.

Of course I may be wrong, but that’s really unlikely.

 

Anyways, to celebrate this new year (which somehow reminds me to celebrate the 20th of January), we are going to give you a double feature review on Sunshine and the X-Files movie.